I went in for my last ultrasound on Friday which confirmed the heartbeat
officially stopped. It is the hardest thing going in each week and
watching a heart stop beating. As any mother knows that is the best part
of pregnancy. Hearing or seeing that beat is a reassuring thing. That
was the hardest part of this miscarriage not to mention how poorly
people in the medical field are with their bed side manners. Monday I
talked with my doctor and decided to take a labor inducing drug. I
figured avoiding a procedure would be best. However the cramping
yesterday was in no way fun. You feel utterly alone throughout the
process. On the other side I am grateful that it is coming to a close. I
thought emotionally I would be back to normal after the baby passed,
but as I went to my calling today (an organization within my church) I
realized that physically I'm healing, but that the emotional side is not
quite there. It's amazing to me how human nature works. It doesn't
matter what stage your pregnancy is in, you are still loosing a baby.
Luckily there are some happy things coming around the bend. In a week I
pick up my parents for Lorelei and Riley's Birthday's. Until then I am
going to drown myself in an inside house paint job. I get so much joy
from painting rooms. It makes me so happy and giddy.
My silver lining through past 4 weeks.
Unfortunately Lorelei has her two year old molars already making their appearance. Lets hope they let up in time for her Birthday. My Riley on the other hand is just too photogenic and we are baffled as to where it came from.
1 comment:
Such cute smiles. Brandi, you are good at capturing them in cute poses.
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