Last pregnancy post I promise. :)

I went in for my last ultrasound on Friday which confirmed the heartbeat officially stopped. It is the hardest thing going in each week and watching a heart stop beating. As any mother knows that is the best part of pregnancy. Hearing or seeing that beat is a reassuring thing. That was the hardest part of this miscarriage not to mention how poorly people in the medical field are with their bed side manners. Monday I talked with my doctor and decided to take a labor inducing drug. I figured avoiding a procedure would be best. However the cramping yesterday was in no way fun. You feel utterly alone throughout the process. On the other side I am grateful that it is coming to a close. I thought emotionally I would be back to normal after the baby passed, but as I went to my calling today (an organization within my church) I realized that physically I'm healing, but that the emotional side is not quite there. It's amazing to me how human nature works. It doesn't matter what stage your pregnancy is in, you are still loosing a baby. Luckily there are some happy things coming around the bend. In a week I pick up my parents for Lorelei and Riley's Birthday's. Until then I am going to drown myself in an inside house paint job. I get so much joy from painting rooms. It makes me so happy and giddy.

My silver lining through past 4 weeks. 

 

 

Unfortunately Lorelei has her two year old molars already making their appearance. Lets hope they let up in time for her Birthday. My Riley on the other hand is just too photogenic and we are baffled as to where it came from.

My latest update.

Monday was not a day of great news. The babies heart is weaker and the baby did not grow within a week like it should have. It is still a 6 week and 1 day old fetus. Today I had Brandon go into the appointment with me. The doctor was not going to tell me today the pending doom because the heart was still beating. However, I have known for a long time that this baby is not going to make it. We discussed the pending options that will fallow in the next couple of weeks. I have decided (unless life threatening) that we wait until the babies heart stops and see if my body naturally aborts the baby. If my body does not take the natural course then I will have a D&C. The doctor told me that for some reason the chromosomes didn't align right and that s why this baby is not making the cut. She actually told me that my case was rare. The fact that the baby did not develop for a while and then did with the progesterone but stopped again happens in her practice once in a year. I guess in some ways it's exciting to be one of the statistics, but a very rough journey to go through. So now we just wait it out and keep going on with life as much as possible. I do, however, have to see the ultrasound technician again this week to verify the heart beat. Thank Heavens for the two little cuties who keep me going.

Needed prayers.

Sometimes you just need to get things out in the open. I recently found out that I am pregnant and became so excited. It is a wonderful blessing bringing a new life into the world. Unfortunately this one is becoming a roller coaster of emotions. My first visit was not pleasant. We could not see the baby at all. The doctor said that maybe I counted wrong and that it was just too early to tell. She ordered an ultrasound with my technician, which also showed nothing. I had blood work done which came back positive for a baby, but my progesterone levels were low. I am now taking a prescribed medication hoping that things will work out for the best. This past Tuesday I went in for my third ultrasound. This time we saw a little heart beating. I was thrilled thinking "yes things have worked out for the best." Then the doubt settled back in when the technician noticed it's heartbeat was on the very low end. Thinking positively I pushed  it aside thinking next week when I go in they will find the heartbeat and everything will be fine. Then I received phone call after phone call from the doctor. This really nerved me because we had been playing phone tag for a day and a half. Her messages were very vague. Today I was able to get a hold of her and was told to have my 4th ultrasound next Monday. Even though this experience has been tough for me, I now have an understanding of what women are going through with high risk pregnancies and those who loose their little ones. It really is emotionally taxing, and though I am doing everything in my power to keep this little one alive, there is still a part of me that is aching. Maybe this is a lesson where I have to put my faith in Heavenly Fathers plan. So far our little one is measuring 6 weeks along. I'm hoping Monday brings good news and that the poking a prodding will end soon. I don't mean to be downer I just thought I'd update everyone incase things go South.

For the Love of a child.

Most people don't stop by my blog, some of you who do, won't care, but we have been having our little family struggles. Riley is such a bright and sweet little boy. Unfortunately he is the one church leaders have pegged out as the disobedient one. I work with him on numerous occasions here at home to teach him how to sit, listen, and obey. This is not an easy task with a three year old and when all avenues fail, you too feel like a failure. I have decided that early intervention is the answer. My family has a history of ADD so it's definitely a possibility. Some of you may argue that no such things exists, but I assure you it does. My beef with all of this is the Occupational Therapist's and insurance companies. Aetna, not until the first of this year covered Occupational Therapy. No Therapist in Denver are covered by Aetna. I have talked with the insurance company as to how a doctor can get covered. Unfortunately the Therapist themselves need to be the ones to contact them and get the ball rolling. After relaying this information to the doctors office I received a call to schedule an appointment. "Yes," I thought I have solved the situation. After setting up a date and giving my e-mail for forms to be sent to my address I was ready to go. The next down fall was the e-mail stating what I should have with me at the evaluation appointment. I can't tell you how hard it is as a mom to know your son needs help and finding road blocks all along the way. They asked me for a chunk of change I do not have. Needless to say, I am back at square one with my boxing gloves up. It's going to be quite the battle, but eventually some one is going to want to bring in new patients and I won't stop until I find the right practice who will try.

Our month of Festivus! :)

There is so much to cover over the month of December. It pretty much was the life of a Greek novel. We ate and played, ate and played, then ate and played some more. Below are pictures taken from two different snow days.

We were quarantined, for two whole weeks in the house due to an awful cold. So, we ate some more and tried to get pictures.

I finally finished my advent calendar and was able to get out some elf treats to our friends just in time for Christmas!

The weekend right before Christmas, we had to shake off our cabin fever with an icy cold trip to the park.

Christmas Eve dinner was a hit. (at least the olives were) :p Nana, we knew you would enjoy these shots.

 

Christmas morning the kids loved! Riley thought at first that Santa did not come for him. He was then told to check out Santa's plate of cookies. All of the milk, cookies and carrots were eaten. He then turned around to find Santa's gifts under their stockings. Riley then knew that Santa truly had come for him. He hasn't stopped talking about Santa being in his house since.

Also, during our season, we acquired new family members! Duke Blue, our Betta fish, came to us at Brandon's co-worker's Christmas Party. He won him in a gift exchange. We thought it would be fun to get him a friend. We went to Petco and found out that African Dwarf frogs make perfect tankmates for them. We ended up coming home with Caesar. Unfortunately, we did not know how to take care of Caesar nor did we get instructions. Three days later, we found him rigid at the bottom of the tank. Riley tried to bring him back to life while Brandon and I were still in bed. We found Caesar (and the whole tank) covered in food that Riley so generously dumped in. It was a sad day and we did a lot of research for the next future Caesar.

Happy New Year!

Fall Festivities!

So much has been happening, and I can not seem to keep up on this blog! A couple of weekends back we hit up Lowells farm for their fall Festival. I will tell you about our adventure through pictures!

First thing Riley went to as we entered the farm.

Lorelei got her first kiss from a pig. This picture was taken after she pulled away from him.

The only thing Riley cared about was pulling his wagon. He had no interest in the animals.

Lorelei at the duck pond. She loved yelling "duck, duck, duck" over and over. All of the other animals on the farm became ducks too.

Just for my love of old cars.

Riley inspecting a pumpkin.

Hooray for small pumpkins to hold.

Riley's favorite white pumpkin he carried around forever until we told him to pick a larger one.

 After we purchased our pumpkins we headed home. It was a fun little trip and I think Brandon and I had more fun than the kids. At this age it always seems to work out that way.

A couple of weeks later we dove into our pumpkins full force.

 

  Today we decided on whim to go to Boo at the Zoo where kids get to trick-or-treat and see the zoo at the same time. The kids had a blast and I had fun dressing them up. I love their costumes and I love this holiday!

I had to add this picture. I had never seen one of these until I came to this zoo, but my favorite part of this picture is what the animal is doing.

Riley was giving me the look of death. This is when I realized time was running out. My mom informed me that I have made that same look my whole life.

After our fun couple of hours at the zoo we hit up Cafe Rio for some brunch and headed home. We did have plans to try and make it to our wards trunk or treat, but by the time we got home the party was about to start. Plus Lorelei ended up having a blow out all over her costume and Riley decided that since we were home he would take off all of his clothes. (this is a new phase we are going through.) Brandon and I decided that we had worn them out enough and they will get more candy on Hallows Eve anyway. Maybe next year we will make it to the ward trunk or treat.